Week 18

Sunday

This started out like all the other runs — for the first 2–3 miles my calves were on fire, and my right ankle felt off. But from mile 4–10 I felt great. We took a different route today and hit up some neighborhoods close to home, which was really great. We took a refuel break at home, then ran down to where we usually run — and this is where things got really bad. From 10 miles on, it was a fight. I was in so much pain. My back and legs were hurting pretty bad. I brought Biofreeze and had to use it about three times during the run. I had some very negative self-talk going on. For example, when my husband told me to watch for cars, I thought, “But if they hit me, I don’t have to finish. ”Of course, I don’t actually want to get hit by a car — and I do want to finish what I started here. It was just a bad run. At mile 14–15 I started crying again. I was in pain, had been fighting for so long, and still had four more miles to go. I was so upset with myself. I was moving way too slow for where I need to be. It was hot out at this point too, and I couldn’t cool down, which made it so hard to focus on anything. After my cry, I told myself, “We gotta stop this BS — there’s a run to finish. ”So actually, from mile 17–18 things were pretty good. To get that far, I just stopped thinking — I emptied my head and put one foot in front of the other, and before I knew it, I was at 18.25 miles. That last little bit was still a struggle. Finishing didn’t feel like a victory — I was just glad it was over. This was a really tough run; most of it I was fighting and in a lot of pain. I’m hoping this means lots of growth and that I’ll look back later and say, “Wow, remember when you were in pain and we finished anyway.”~ Side note: pretty sure it was from girl stuff.

Monday

I went to the gym. It was a really great class — focus was on quads and calves. Just what you need after a 19-mile run. I went slow and used light weight. I felt great after.

Tuesday

My calves are super tight today. I guess 19 miles and the gym yesterday really worked them good. This morning I walked. Yesterday I got new shoes — so nice to break them in too! I have 262 miles just from marathon training, plus I’ve had the shoes for 6 months — it was time. I was excited they still had the color I really liked. It’s the little things. Hard to believe that just my marathon training has me at 262 miles — wow!

Wednesday

Rest Day

Thursday

I just wasn’t feeling good this morning. I started getting ready and was like, “No, I need more sleep.”I’m getting frustrated with myself and thinking my idea was a really bad one. Am I really able to do this? It’s getting to me now.

Friday

A very hard day at the gym! I only got through half of the workout and hurt my shoulder again. So I’m feeling more like a loser than like I accomplished anything. I’m getting super down about my training now. I guess things are just getting hard, so I’m doing better than I realize — it just isn’t feeling that way. I’m sad and know I need to get in a better headspace, or things will be bad for sure.

Saturday

REST DAY